Monday, May 21, 2018

Clutter and "Stuff"




I was talking with a friend about something recently and it's been on my mind since then.

Moms get overwhelmed with stuff. And I don't mean we get overwhelmed things responsibilities, places, people, etc (although that is true too!). I mean exactly what I said.

Stuff.

Books. Magazines. Paw Patrol toys. Barbie dolls. Cars. Ribbons and bows. China sets. Pots and pans. Shoes. Belts. Blankets. Pillows.

Stuff. 

We live in a time frame where more belongings equates to success. More toys mean your kids must be happier. More household items means your home must be nicer. More clothing means you must be fancier. More books mean you must be smarter.

We not only bring clutter into our homes but we willingly bring stress into our lives this way. More "stuff" isn't always what is best.

Let me stop here and stay all these things aren't bad. If you need them and use them on a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis, great! Throw pillows that actually get used instead of just tossed to the floor? Perfect! Those dinosaurs that are the kids favorites and get played with all the time? Wonderful! Need more spatulas because you cook 3 meals a day and always run out? Buy more!

What I'm talking about here are the extras. The Tupperware that gets jumbled up in the back of the cupboard and touched only when reaching for other items. The toys that have sat at the bottom of the play basket for months because your children have zero interest in them. The craft supplies you are hoarding because maybe one day in the unforeseen future you could possibly, hopefully, have a use for it.

Oh wait. That last one may just be me.

But seriously. THOSE are the items I'm talking about here. We often fill our homes with stuff that we don't need. These articles take up space we could be using for other items we do want and need. They take time to clean and rearrange. They make things harder for us in our homes instead of making things better.

If you are anything like me, you hold on to things for a variety of reasons:
-Someone gifted you the item.
-It use to be sentimental.
-You or someone you know may possibly need it again in the future.
-It is just simply cute.
-With clothes, you may possibly fit into older and smaller clothes again one day.

So on and so on. But you have to make the decision yourself. Is it worth the stress and effort to keep it? If it is, no problem! Find a space for it and store it until you need or have a use for it. If it's not worth it though, pass it on. Donate it if it's useable to others. Ask if a friend may be able to use it. Have a garage sale and make a little money if you have a lot to get rid of. Be honest with yourself and trash it if it's just garbage. Just remove it from your home somehow if it's become no use to you or your family.

Getting rid of belongings can be difficult, I understand. I've gone through my apartment several times now and each time I tell myself it will be easy but sometimes it's hard.
Don't empty your home, but don't keep every little thing thats ever been passed over to you. Take it slow and think about what you are removing. If you have some items you think you might regret getting rid of, then get a box and fill it with your "maybe remove" items. Hide away the box in a closet and a few months from now if you forgot about everything inside, just donate it all. If not, empty the box and bring the items back into your home. No harm done.

How does all this tie into motherhood though? Good question.

When we as moms stress over something, our families feel it. Our spouse and children can feel the energy we are letting off in any given moment. If we feel calm and collected, so do those around us. If we feel overwhelmed and anxious, so do those around us. When clutter takes over we can lose control over our homes. It becomes less of our home and our safe haven, and more of a storage unit. 

You will feel so much better as you work your way through your home and your belongings. Your home will feel bigger, your rooms will feel cleaner, and you won't feel as stressed. Your family will thank you for it.

But don't take my word for it. Try it out for yourself. You won't be disappointed.

Shout out to the "Mean Mommies"





My kiddos have always been momma's boys. They trample over anything and anyone to get to me, they snuggle and cuddle with me, they give the best hugs, and they tell me all the time that they love me. (They aren't always angelic though, but that's for a different post!)

Even with all that, my 3 year old just started a new thing. He just got to the "You aren't being nice to me, mommy!" phase. Also known as the "mean mommy" phase.

Which, isn't it early to be at this stage already? I thought this wasn't supposed to happen until the preteen/middle school years. How was I so wrong about the timing of this?

Back to the point. 

The first time he said it I admit that I was genuinely concerned. His face got scrunched up, he crossed his arms, and he turned away from me. This was totally new. I remember thinking maybe I did do something wrong. He can't be that upset that I told him to get into his car seat, right? His love language is Words of Affirmation so I thought maybe I wasn't being gentle enough with my tone (a daily struggle for me). I know that Grayson is very sensitive to disappointment and harsh tones. Was that what had just happened here?

No. Apparently I wasn't being nice or "fair" by not letting my 3 year old sit in the front passenger seat while we took a drive across the city. That's what made me a mean mommy that day.





Other things that have deemed me as being a mean mommy lately:

-I made him try going potty on the toilet before we got into the car
-I wouldn't let him stay up all night
-I told him he couldn't play outside since I was cooking and couldn't be out there to watch him
-and I wouldn't give him a lollypop for breakfast.

He's got a pretty tough life, ladies. Insert eye roll here.

If he doesn't get his way, in his own timing, it must mean that I'm being mean and I don't care about him. It use to frustrate me. Why can't he just understand that I want what is best for him. I'm here to protect him and guard him. I love him beyond comprehension and everything I do is so that he has the best life possible. I tell him all this repeatedly, so why can't he just grasp it already?

But then I remember I do the exact same thing with God. 

I pray for things to happen and then get upset, sad, or feel let down if situations don't go my way. I think that somehow I know what's best for my life, when in fact I'm really just like my 3 year old. I can't see beyond my own perspective.

I'm grateful for my son's new phase because it's a reminder to myself to stop questioning God's timing or reasoning. He knows what is best for me before I could ever guess it. I have to trust and have faith that God is in control and that means everything will be all right.

If you are going through this phase with your children today, let me encourage you to change your perspective. When your kid calls you a mean mommy, what he really means to say is that you are being a loving mommy. A caring mommy.  It really means you are so selfless that you give up approval and love from someone whom you care so much about in order for them to be safe, healthy, and have the tools for life that they need.

That sounds like success to me! 

You are doing good, momma! Keep telling them no to certain things. Keep their tummies happy, their bodies safe, and their minds protected. 

One day your kiddos will not only understand but actually thank you for it.

Don't hold your breath though. My guess is that it will happen right around the time they turn into a mean mommy or daddy themselves.


An Introduction


It's hard to feel like a part of a group when you don't know the people around you, and especially when you don't know the leader. As much as I dislike talking about myself, I'm going to try to do a decent job so that if you happen to be outside of my family and reading this, you can get a feel for who I am.

My name is Tiffany and I'm 29 years old. If I'm being completely honest, I don't really think I'm qualified to have my own blog about life, and especially not one about motherhood. I'm the definition of a hot mess. I'm that mom that everyone stares at wondering when she will get her stuff together (but don't hold your breath, that may never happen!). I'm not perfect and when I type up a post, I'm speaking to myself just as much as I am to any of you. 


(A random selfie)

I have two sweet boys who take up most of my attention, my time, and who both own a good chuck of my heart. Grayson is my oldest and Sawyer is the youngest. They have extremely different personalities but, thankfully, both love their momma oh so much! 

(My sweet baby boys)

My husband owns an even bigger chuck of my heart. He is my better half and I couldn't imagine doing life without him. Somehow, through all my emotional ups and downs, this man has never given up on me. He's mine, ladies! But he's pretty cute, huh? 

(Javier and I during our recent cruise to the Bahamas)

I try to make sure all my decisions are Godly ones. I fail miserably sometimes (often, more often than I like to admit) but thankfully God forgives and loves me still. My husband and I will be missionaries to France in the near future and we can't wait to see what God has in store for us. If, through the journey, even one person gets to know Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior, well, everything it took to get to them would be more than worth it! (If this blog happens to reach a reader in France, please reach out to me! I'd love to chat with you about life in France!) 


(Me with a kiddo from Honduras during my first missions trip)

So that's me in a nutshell! Excited to have you along for the ride!