Shout out to the "Mean Mommies"

My kiddos have always been momma's boys. They trample over anything and anyone to get to me, they snuggle and cuddle with me, they give the best hugs, and they tell me all the time that they love me. (They aren't always angelic though, but that's for a different post!)

Even with all that, my 3 year old just started a new thing. He just got to the "You aren't being nice to me, mommy!" phase. Also known as the "mean mommy" phase.

Which, isn't it early to be at this stage already? I thought this wasn't supposed to happen until the preteen/middle school years. How was I so wrong about the timing of this?

Back to the point. 

The first time he said it I admit that I was genuinely concerned. His face got scrunched up, he crossed his arms, and he turned away from me. This was totally new. I remember thinking maybe I did do something wrong. He can't be that upset that I told him to get into his car seat, right? His love language is Words of Affirmation so I thought maybe I wasn't being gentle enough with my tone (a daily struggle for me). I know that Grayson is very sensitive to disappointment and harsh tones. Was that what had just happened here?

No. Apparently I wasn't being nice or "fair" by not letting my 3 year old sit in the front passenger seat while we took a drive across the city. That's what made me a mean mommy that day.

Other things that have deemed me as being a mean mommy lately:

-I made him try going potty on the toilet before we got into the car
-I wouldn't let him stay up all night
-I told him he couldn't play outside since I was cooking and couldn't be out there to watch him
-and I wouldn't give him a lollypop for breakfast.

He's got a pretty tough life, ladies. Insert eye roll here.

If he doesn't get his way, in his own timing, it must mean that I'm being mean and I don't care about him. It use to frustrate me. Why can't he just understand that I want what is best for him. I'm here to protect him and guard him. I love him beyond comprehension and everything I do is so that he has the best life possible. I tell him all this repeatedly, so why can't he just grasp it already?

But then I remember I do the exact same thing with God. 

I pray for things to happen and then get upset, sad, or feel let down if situations don't go my way. I think that somehow I know what's best for my life, when in fact I'm really just like my 3 year old. I can't see beyond my own perspective.

I'm grateful for my son's new phase because it's a reminder to myself to stop questioning God's timing or reasoning. He knows what is best for me before I could ever guess it. I have to trust and have faith that God is in control and that means everything will be all right.

If you are going through this phase with your children today, let me encourage you to change your perspective. When your kid calls you a mean mommy, what he really means to say is that you are being a loving mommy. A caring mommy.  It really means you are so selfless that you give up approval and love from someone whom you care so much about in order for them to be safe, healthy, and have the tools for life that they need.

That sounds like success to me! 

You are doing good, momma! Keep telling them no to certain things. Keep their tummies happy, their bodies safe, and their minds protected. 

One day your kiddos will not only understand but actually thank you for it.

Don't hold your breath though. My guess is that it will happen right around the time they turn into a mean mommy or daddy themselves.